End the Blame Game
I’ve been thinking a lot about BLAME and SHAME lately. It seems in these times of great uncertainty, we, humanity, need to grasp for some sense of knowing and so we ask, “why, who, what?” We look around for someone, something to blame, for then we can understand and feel better. But do you? Do you feel safer because you can blame someone? Does the uncertainty go away? Are you no longer afraid, angry, anxious?
If your answer was “Yes, I do feel better,” then I am happy for you in finding inner peace. I’m also surprised. For when we blame someone the level of our energy is charged with the negativity of blame. We may feel better for a few moments but then the uncertainty settles in again. We start to feel uncomfortable again and we look for someone else, something else to blame. Due to its low energy vibration, blame puts us in a loop that repeats itself over and over because blame lacks understanding. It is a shot in the dark, like playing pin-the-tail-on-the-donkey. We don’t know the truth, but we feel better taking a stab at it. Blame is a stab in the darkness of unknowing. It is like a mist or fog that distorts our perspective. We stumble in the fog trying to make sense of things when it is actually time to be still until the knowing becomes clear. Our eyes and mind are in darkness still, and we only think we know.
Blame creates a path of destruction, harming both ourselves and others in its path. If you understand this, that each time you want to blame you are first harming yourself and then the thing or person you are blaming, that you have created a path of destruction, would you still persist in doing it? Knowingly will you persist in choosing to do yourself this disservice? What is this disservice, this destruction, this outcome of blame? Shame.
Shame as an energy is one of the lowest measured, according to David Hawkins in Power VS. Force. Shame is a power play of the lowest vibration. All parties involved in shame, whether you are the one wielding the shame or being shamed, are touched by it. Similar to if you were to pick up a hot coal to throw it at someone, first you would be burned. Shame is like an infection and spreads harm with no discernment to the one shaming or being shamed.
The synonyms for shame might give you more understanding of the negativity, as each of us has probably been the recipient of shame and remember the suffering of it.
1. humiliate,
2. mortify,
3. make someone feel ashamed,
4. embarrass,
5. chasten,
6. put someone in their place,
7. take down a peg or two,
8. cut down to size,
9. make someone eat crow
In our being disempowered as children we may have seen the person dishing out the shame/blame as having power over us. But true power does not do harm, it builds and creates more power. Force on the other hand is destructive. You may have unconsciously taken on the “torch of shame” without realizing you were burning yourself at the same time.
What if there is no blame? What if this just is? In that statement, “this is” we find the neutrality of the situation and the negative charge of dichotomy (good/bad, right/wrong, blame/shame) begins to shift to one of positivity. The inner sense of personal well-being shifts to one charged positively rather then negatively. We begin to feel better in that simple statement of neutrality, “this is”.
When we take time and find a way to comfort in times of unknowing, we shift our energy into a willingness to explore the uncertainty rather than distract with blame. Willingness is a huge shift in our energy as it is free of the entangled energy of resistance that drags us downward. We are open to seeing many possibilities and to be available to our community.
The next shift is into acceptance. Finding acceptance is like lighting a candle in the darkness. We begin to see, understand and be willing to take responsibility for ourselves. Blame points fingers away from ourselves, diverts us and others from our anxiety temporarily. Acceptance creates a mirror like reflection of ourselves free of the distortions of blame or shame, allowing us to settle into some inner peace that is ripe with coherence. Here is where clear vision is born, answers begin to sort themselves out and multiple possibilities show themselves.
Finding forgiveness towards ourselves through the understanding of this dynamic is imperative. The blame/shame dynamic is something most of us have been steeped in culturally. Together we can break the pattern. Freeing ourselves from blame starts with understanding that we were part of an unconscious patterning. ONCE AWARE we can forgive ourselves and start to make the shift to building up others through understanding and a willingness towards kindness rather than harm. We make a difference either way, whether we are spreading harm or kindness. Today choose kindness. Break the pattern of the blame game.